Elegy Haiku

Tears are like diamonds,
Shine distracting from my pain.
I must find freedom.

for Josh

The Architect and the Artisan

The architect uses stone to build his walls

and keeps the world at bay.

He hides away from what he fears

but he locks his love out too.

The artisan would put his tools to stone

and find a new form within.

He loves what cannot yet be seen,

Finding beauty in its release.

The artisan found the architect

and saw the new form within their stones.

Together they could build beauty.

Together the construction would be complete.

But the architect did not look inside,

and saw only another stone.

He went and found some more stones,

and continued to build his walls.

The artisan began to shape his stone,

making it an incomplete masterpiece.

With the architect’s aid and stone,

a masterpiece could last a lifetime.

The architect would not leave his walls,

and would not spare his stone.

Now he seeks out other stones to use,

as he finishes his hollow home.

The artisan’s masterpiece crumbles,

destroyed by the architect’s creation.

If the architect had left his folly

he would have had something real.

Passion

Makes petals grow from my skin
flowing out into bloom
I will see their beauty
when the flowers grow out
from two tone roots
seen from the surface.

Feel the ecstasy when I am held to heat
flesh that moves and rejoices
the message, relief, that ripples and subsides
something within follows and dies
waiting for the act to be repeated
waiting to be resurrected
waiting to begin again
seeing the beauty in pain
majesty stripped bare
feeling made flesh made raw.

This is passion
not love, nor caring, not even desire.
It is a beast with open maw,
teeth ready to rip,shred,mar.
It demands to be heard
it is wanting nothing
it is merely obeyed.
A cruel and true master, obeyed.
It burns within, white hot flame,
creation and destruction potent.
And I let it destroy me
repeatedly.

I must kick the habit,
yoke the fire and
become my master's master.
Hope all it destroyed lies
in ashes that will light again.
A phoenix waiting to burst alive,
the epitome of passion,
to recreate all I have lost
to be never burned again.

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Now playing: Biff Naked - Lucky
via FoxyTunes

Truth

No eye can see, no mind will comprehend
One life lived through, beginning to the end
Else time itself unwinds and all I am
Will be just another thing to condemn

Understand the world and all its features
That such a task should fail all its teachers
This is the cardinal sin, last demise.
Is it to be what cracks open my skies?

All the worlds beyond their vast painted veils,
That beckon to me now to join their tales,
Ever trying to remove me from all -
Matters. But I must not heed their call.


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Now playing: 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill
via FoxyTunes

Singularity

She tries to find where you used to fit

There’s a hole in her self where you were

She carves herself to ribbons in fear

She can’t move on until she finds

Where you moved out.

She pulls herself to pieces

Breaks her own heart

Chained to the rock

Eagle to her own Prometheus

Giver of stolen fire.

But the sky is alight anew

Casting shadows in her sight

And now she must choose

The shadows of destitute comfort

Or the bringer of new fire.

She is frozen on the horizon

The line where the light ends

And the factions spin at her centre

Deepest shadows frame her

The light forms the edge.

She is drawn in by unnamed forces

Through too many veils

To where the maiden can call

For a knight to take her hand

Save her from herself.

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Now playing: Siobhan Donaghy - There's A Place
via FoxyTunes

Man in the Moon

The God of death and dreaming
took me where I sleep
that's where you lay me down
lay me down and kept me
pressed down amongst the eider
rumpled, ruffled and closing in on me
holding me for you.
Only you.
That bed of snakes
writhing and wrapped round me
trapped in the comfort
of your delicate arrangement
the room, the snake bed
that place
me.
What comfort that was,
your great orchestration,
playing your favourite instrument
and you knew every chord to play
to get the music you wanted
whilst breaking the minimum of strings.
And all of them mine.
I still remember the whisperings at my ears
lyrics to your melody
my name and other things I liked quite less
but not in the middle of a song
not right, not proper.
So I let myself sink
in the snakes and the eider
and in my eyes
I watch the moonlight
how it dapples and dances
across your shoulder.
I used to rest my head in that shoulder
when I was lost as I find myself now
lost in your embrace.
I would rub it just to have you near,
I would hide there, close my eyes
make the world go away
and be safe.
Devoted, I'd have done anything for you
but not this.
Not the snake not the eider not the dancing.
Devoted to my destruction.
Absolute.
You are metal and you are wound
and I see them both just now poised
inches from my flesh
and I wonder if you would bring them closer
if I could hide once more in that shoulder
feel the heat of you
comfort without snake and eider
without arrangement.
But the world wouldn't go away now
it already has
it is just me, ornate and exposed,
with snake and eider and metal and wound.
Now I must go, not the world.
That cannot be done with you metal and you wound.
With metal and wound the snakes tighten
tying me to the eider grave.
I turn from the dance
to the man in the moon
he shone that silvery light
he danced on your shoulder
and I turn to him.
I smile at him and he smiles back
my eyes glaze over as we talk
he tells me stories tells me songs
of what my life really is
for this isn't it, this isn't real
he reminds me of this and sweeter things
as he watches over me, framed in window.
Finally metal and wound come closer
pressing up tight and asking for entry.
The snakes hold me ready
I muster no resistance
I lay ornate and exposed
white as china, pure as milk.
But milk was not poured for you
you will not drink today.
Instead I grip faster
to the dance on your shoulder.
And, as I am pulled aloft,
bourne by my hold on the moonlight
I still watch the scene through the open window
ornate and arranged twixt the eider
held down by snakes wrapped round and through.
Metal and wound leant over and between
still wishing to taste skin like milk
not meant for him.
And so I ascend
watched by glazed eyes
I see the fear in them
unnoticed by metal and wound
fear of falling.
But I won't fall and glazed eyes need not worry
I am held fast by the man in the moon
safe and strong and ever after.
The man in the moon has taken me as his
He is where I am going
and where I am to be found
Playing all the right notes
Till death do I part.


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Now playing: Newton Faulkner - Gone In The Morning
via FoxyTunes

With Three Words

With three words
I sold myself to slavery.
With three words
I paid for a life of pain.

Words were dull currency
that bought my bondage.
My emotional torment first
prize in a twisted competition.
Fate's sense of humour that
pushes each swelling
colours each bruise.
Destiny's twisted web my golden strand of hope.
My only hope.
Pulling me from drowning and losing
myself in self made sea.
Where serpent strangles, whispers,
Another voice that blames me.
The bars of my cell my own concoction
that I hope to dilute and lose.
Pull them down with these four walls
You helped me build.

With three words
this captive was set free.

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Now playing: Massive Attack - Butterfly Caught
via FoxyTunes