Scar Tissue

The shattered remnants
Of every glass wall I thought I'd razed
And every porcelain mask I've ever worn,
A thousand forgotten façades,
Now lay a stewn and broken mess
A nest around my heart.
The shards of denied past
Bathe in the blood they
Cut out of its inlay.

Every time I can will another beat
The motion just to stay alive
Leaves me pierced by another
Fragment of myself.
Slowly my visceral wounds heal
Only to be reopened somewhere new
And the scars begin to build
A thickened armour 'round my core
That may only choke it where it sleeps.

Time of my life.

Everything is glass
all I am is sand
watch as it pours
a deluge through the neck.
Every moment another
torturous flood.

The tide pulls me away
I can only tread water,
keep my head above the grit,
and see the safety of the shore
slip away over the horizon.

A casualty of continuing life
I am pained by every moment
of sand still surrounding me
choking me with life.

The fragility of an existence in glass,
never quite enough to shatter
and offer freedom
or escape.

Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Seize my lungs,
and quench my fire;
Still the rivers,
and quiet the drums.

Every moment brings another,
self-perpetuating misery.
One more accurs'd breath,
that punctuates my pained life.

I long to escape the cycle.
I pray for the moment
that frees me from the last,
that finally brings contentment.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Amen