Rhetorical

A question hides behind my lips
that fights to be free.
Keeping it still and swallowed
chokes the meaning from me.

My answer dances behind your eyes,
mocking me in my desire.
I wait for a knowing glance
but still I always blink.

I want you to be answer to my question
but can't bring myself to ask.
Would you look at me fondly
or stare then walk away?

Scar Tissue

The shattered remnants
Of every glass wall I thought I'd razed
And every porcelain mask I've ever worn,
A thousand forgotten façades,
Now lay a stewn and broken mess
A nest around my heart.
The shards of denied past
Bathe in the blood they
Cut out of its inlay.

Every time I can will another beat
The motion just to stay alive
Leaves me pierced by another
Fragment of myself.
Slowly my visceral wounds heal
Only to be reopened somewhere new
And the scars begin to build
A thickened armour 'round my core
That may only choke it where it sleeps.

Time of my life.

Everything is glass
all I am is sand
watch as it pours
a deluge through the neck.
Every moment another
torturous flood.

The tide pulls me away
I can only tread water,
keep my head above the grit,
and see the safety of the shore
slip away over the horizon.

A casualty of continuing life
I am pained by every moment
of sand still surrounding me
choking me with life.

The fragility of an existence in glass,
never quite enough to shatter
and offer freedom
or escape.

Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Seize my lungs,
and quench my fire;
Still the rivers,
and quiet the drums.

Every moment brings another,
self-perpetuating misery.
One more accurs'd breath,
that punctuates my pained life.

I long to escape the cycle.
I pray for the moment
that frees me from the last,
that finally brings contentment.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Amen

Elegy Haiku

Tears are like diamonds,
Shine distracting from my pain.
I must find freedom.

for Josh

The Architect and the Artisan

The architect uses stone to build his walls

and keeps the world at bay.

He hides away from what he fears

but he locks his love out too.

The artisan would put his tools to stone

and find a new form within.

He loves what cannot yet be seen,

Finding beauty in its release.

The artisan found the architect

and saw the new form within their stones.

Together they could build beauty.

Together the construction would be complete.

But the architect did not look inside,

and saw only another stone.

He went and found some more stones,

and continued to build his walls.

The artisan began to shape his stone,

making it an incomplete masterpiece.

With the architect’s aid and stone,

a masterpiece could last a lifetime.

The architect would not leave his walls,

and would not spare his stone.

Now he seeks out other stones to use,

as he finishes his hollow home.

The artisan’s masterpiece crumbles,

destroyed by the architect’s creation.

If the architect had left his folly

he would have had something real.

Passion

Makes petals grow from my skin
flowing out into bloom
I will see their beauty
when the flowers grow out
from two tone roots
seen from the surface.

Feel the ecstasy when I am held to heat
flesh that moves and rejoices
the message, relief, that ripples and subsides
something within follows and dies
waiting for the act to be repeated
waiting to be resurrected
waiting to begin again
seeing the beauty in pain
majesty stripped bare
feeling made flesh made raw.

This is passion
not love, nor caring, not even desire.
It is a beast with open maw,
teeth ready to rip,shred,mar.
It demands to be heard
it is wanting nothing
it is merely obeyed.
A cruel and true master, obeyed.
It burns within, white hot flame,
creation and destruction potent.
And I let it destroy me
repeatedly.

I must kick the habit,
yoke the fire and
become my master's master.
Hope all it destroyed lies
in ashes that will light again.
A phoenix waiting to burst alive,
the epitome of passion,
to recreate all I have lost
to be never burned again.

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