Time of my life.

Everything is glass
all I am is sand
watch as it pours
a deluge through the neck.
Every moment another
torturous flood.

The tide pulls me away
I can only tread water,
keep my head above the grit,
and see the safety of the shore
slip away over the horizon.

A casualty of continuing life
I am pained by every moment
of sand still surrounding me
choking me with life.

The fragility of an existence in glass,
never quite enough to shatter
and offer freedom
or escape.

Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Seize my lungs,
and quench my fire;
Still the rivers,
and quiet the drums.

Every moment brings another,
self-perpetuating misery.
One more accurs'd breath,
that punctuates my pained life.

I long to escape the cycle.
I pray for the moment
that frees me from the last,
that finally brings contentment.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
I hope I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my life to take.

Amen

Elegy Haiku

Tears are like diamonds,
Shine distracting from my pain.
I must find freedom.

for Josh

The Architect and the Artisan

The architect uses stone to build his walls

and keeps the world at bay.

He hides away from what he fears

but he locks his love out too.

The artisan would put his tools to stone

and find a new form within.

He loves what cannot yet be seen,

Finding beauty in its release.

The artisan found the architect

and saw the new form within their stones.

Together they could build beauty.

Together the construction would be complete.

But the architect did not look inside,

and saw only another stone.

He went and found some more stones,

and continued to build his walls.

The artisan began to shape his stone,

making it an incomplete masterpiece.

With the architect’s aid and stone,

a masterpiece could last a lifetime.

The architect would not leave his walls,

and would not spare his stone.

Now he seeks out other stones to use,

as he finishes his hollow home.

The artisan’s masterpiece crumbles,

destroyed by the architect’s creation.

If the architect had left his folly

he would have had something real.

Passion

Makes petals grow from my skin
flowing out into bloom
I will see their beauty
when the flowers grow out
from two tone roots
seen from the surface.

Feel the ecstasy when I am held to heat
flesh that moves and rejoices
the message, relief, that ripples and subsides
something within follows and dies
waiting for the act to be repeated
waiting to be resurrected
waiting to begin again
seeing the beauty in pain
majesty stripped bare
feeling made flesh made raw.

This is passion
not love, nor caring, not even desire.
It is a beast with open maw,
teeth ready to rip,shred,mar.
It demands to be heard
it is wanting nothing
it is merely obeyed.
A cruel and true master, obeyed.
It burns within, white hot flame,
creation and destruction potent.
And I let it destroy me
repeatedly.

I must kick the habit,
yoke the fire and
become my master's master.
Hope all it destroyed lies
in ashes that will light again.
A phoenix waiting to burst alive,
the epitome of passion,
to recreate all I have lost
to be never burned again.

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Now playing: Biff Naked - Lucky
via FoxyTunes

Truth

No eye can see, no mind will comprehend
One life lived through, beginning to the end
Else time itself unwinds and all I am
Will be just another thing to condemn

Understand the world and all its features
That such a task should fail all its teachers
This is the cardinal sin, last demise.
Is it to be what cracks open my skies?

All the worlds beyond their vast painted veils,
That beckon to me now to join their tales,
Ever trying to remove me from all -
Matters. But I must not heed their call.


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Now playing: 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill
via FoxyTunes

Singularity

She tries to find where you used to fit

There’s a hole in her self where you were

She carves herself to ribbons in fear

She can’t move on until she finds

Where you moved out.

She pulls herself to pieces

Breaks her own heart

Chained to the rock

Eagle to her own Prometheus

Giver of stolen fire.

But the sky is alight anew

Casting shadows in her sight

And now she must choose

The shadows of destitute comfort

Or the bringer of new fire.

She is frozen on the horizon

The line where the light ends

And the factions spin at her centre

Deepest shadows frame her

The light forms the edge.

She is drawn in by unnamed forces

Through too many veils

To where the maiden can call

For a knight to take her hand

Save her from herself.

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Now playing: Siobhan Donaghy - There's A Place
via FoxyTunes